Friday, June 3, 2011

An attitude of gratefulness.

"Oh, the Lord is good to me..." He has given me a desire of my heart!! And I hadn't even prayed for it yet. (A very bad habit of mine.) I have been led to a handful of wonderful, Christian, some homeschooling, some farmhousey living, seeming-to-be like-minded mom-blogs. (Hyphen-happy!!!!)

For years I have loved writing. For several months I have been searching for some blogs that I would enjoy reading, blogs that were topically-similar to my current interests, and blogs that were - selfishly - ones that my friends hadn't already found, doggonit! I felt the same way about my college: I wanted to go somewhere where none of my friends or people I knew would be. I still, secretly, very teen-ily hope that hubby's job will someday transfer him somewhere so that we'll have to strike out on our own, knowing no one, and start fresh. (Of course, it'll have to be somewhere perfect and beautiful, not too hot, close to the ocean...but I'll let God handle those details.) And so it was with the blogs I wanted to read - I only had recommendations from friends. The blogs were good, of course; the fact that someone else had found them first didn't diminish their worth in any way. But I'm the same way with movies - the more you tell me how good of a movie it is, the less I'll probably like it. I don't like having someone else's opinion first. Unfortunately, the same happened with the new pastor at our old church, who started preaching there while I was away at college. I got TONS of rave reviews about her...and I'm afraid I never truly got on board with her after.

Have you read between the lines up there that my life isn't the way I want it? You're quick. :) My family "duplexes" with my parents. That's a nicer way of saying "lives with." Because we don't live with them. They have the back of the house; we have the front and the upstairs. My hub and I (and by extension, our four children) have never lived "on our own," "in our own place," or any other phrase you'd like to use for "leaving your parents and starting your adult life together." And we started our married life with one child each, which very much added to the no-honeymoon-phase experience.

Then, around a year ago, my in-laws' living situation changed (he was training for a new job, far away; MIL moved in with her mom - big mistake) and she ended up coming to live here, followed about 4 months later by FIL when his far-away good-idea job didn't pan out as hoped. Soooo....we are - on our side of the house - a "family" of 8. Counting my parents, and the whole house-proper: 10. (This poor house...)

So here I launch my idea of a blog of gratitude. I am bitter. I am snarky. I can fall all-too-easily into the "depths of despair," much to the frustration of my husband. I am, I think, prone a little to depression. And I am often jealous. So off I go, in my far from perfect life, to seek out the silver linings (which I happen to be pretty good at finding), the thankfuls, the gratefuls, and - hopefully - the changed attitude. :)

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