Conversations with a 4 Year Old.

After repeated questions of "can I have lunch now, pleeeeease???" it's finally close enough to noon to start lunch.

E: Can I have lunch, please?
M: Yes. What do you want?
E: Can I play on the Wii while you're making my lunch?
M: No.
E: Why?
M: Because we don't play on the Wii till AFTER lunch.
E: Can I have my lunch now?
M: Still waiting for you to tell me what you want.
E: Can I have a cheese stick?
M: Nope, don't have any.
E: Can I have yogurt?
M: Yes.
E: And a peanut butter sandwich?
M: Eat the yogurt first, then we'll talk.
Yogurt is eaten (read: inhaled), half of a peanut butter sandwich is being made.
E: Can I have a peanut butter sandwich now?
M: Yes, and while I make it, please go potty.
E: Why?
M: Because I asked you to.
E: But I went just before lunch.
M: Then you'll have to go before you take your nap.
(Don't believe that I actually think he will nap. But I have to try; he's been weeks without one, and it shows.)
E: Why?
M: Because you ALWAYS need to go potty before you go to sleep.
He heads up the stairs.
M: Lij! You don't have to go now!
E: Why?
M: (sigh) Come down here.
E: But you told me to go potty.
M: Come down here! Please don't make me yell.....I told you to go potty, and you said you went before, so I said you'd have to go later. You don't have to go now.
E: Oh.
M: Eat your sandwich.
E: ...I have to go potty! (running from the room)