Thoughts during gymnastics class.

I'm sitting here at Lij's gymnastics class. Some (completely disjointed) thoughts:

There are a lot of skinny people here. Some of them are moms.

That one brought water and strawberries. I like to bring something to eat while I'm waiting, too...but I brought cheese crackers and a granola bar. And she - and that one, too - brought big bottles of cold water. I have my iced caramel swirl latte a la Dunkie's (with whole milk, sugar, whipped cream, and extra caramel, for goodness' sake), and am wearing my grey knit frumpzilla dress that I have worn in every pregnancy and out, and have to work hard (really hard) at contracting my stomach muscles so I don't look pregnant again. (The dress is fast, cool, and comfy. And if I had less of a tummy, it probably wouldn't look half bad.) Hmmmmm...

That mom has her whole laptop open on the table. I'm taking notes on my phone, but that feels less uninvolved than a laptop.

I'm glad E is wearing underwear to gymnastics now, instead of a pull-up. He seems to be doing okay.

What kind of healthy legacy am I leaving for my kids, my daughter specifically, by letting myself eat whatever I want, "because my hubby loves me the way I am"? (That's not an excuse; he really does. Okay, it's an excuse, but he really does.)

And what lesson am I teaching them when we pull up to the drive-thru and I say, "nope, no donuts today, we're just getting Mumma's coffee"? That junk food isn't for always but the indulgence [pause for watching E's turn in the routine] of coffee is a given, that "no" is never needed for coffee, that there's never a time when we shouldn't buy coffee? (Heaven forbid!) Sigh.

E doing side steps on the balance beam

My kids are such active, healthy movers with (so far) quite healthy eating patterns. I'd BETTER not ruin that. What a big failure that would be.

That instructor has absolutely no jiggle to her butt when she jumps. None. I don't think I want to be that skinny. My hubby could break me.

I don't want to be a health freak. God created chocolate, that's for sure, and I have no intention on missing out on that part of His creation. But Sally Fields is right: I have this one body, and this one life. And I'm being a very, very poor steward of it.

Being healthy shouldn't be hard...it should just be something you learn how to do, like everything else in life. Somewhere along the way, we've forgotten that most things in life must be worked for and earned.

Gymnastics is done. I have some work to do.

Dearest God, please (oh, please) help me to keep any shred of resolve I currently possess.

Matthew and a little girl having a stare-down