The Amish and the Tudors.

It would seem that the only way to really get my thoughts down the way I want them is to attempt a daily-ish recap of sorts.

That being said, today I've been thinking about things that bring me joy happiness (I hesitate yet to call it joy) and confidence. I have come to see that I have a real lack of confidence in myself - in my knowledge and place in life and worthiness of the decisions I make... Part of that is environmental: when you live with both your and your husband's parents, you intrinsically still feel under a microscope and as though every choice is being scrutinized, sometimes silently, othertimes not. (I'm not sure which is worse.) But I think part of that is also simply because I don't have a good grasp of the things I enjoy and truly, truly love. I need to consciously remember and study those things which seriously interest me, such that they're more cemented in my mind, and readily available if I want to think or discuss them, but more importantly so that I simply have a more confident mindset in that I know anything other than that 3 days of my boys' laundry will fit in one load and the very specific way to load my dishwasher and the pathway to my 1 year old son's crib in the dark. (All of those are extremely important, by the way, and I do truly believe in the intrinsic value of those things.)

Here are the things on my list just from this evening:

1) Design and function of the Amish and Shaker cultures, as well as colonial America
          Ever read The Ox-Cart Man? It's about life in old New Hampshire, and although admittedly I don't think I'd be good at all aspects of that life, I love the ideology. I want to have nothing on my floors and hang my chairs on the walls. I already have the open shelves in my kitchen. (Go, me!)

2) Tudor Enland
          For the record, I read The Other Boleyn Girl before it became a movie. I can't remember if this was the first book of this genre that I read, but since then I've become a giant fan of Philippa Gregory. I don't read her nearly as often as I should. Except for Wideacre. I started that one and didn't finish it. I didn't like it. Really didn't. But I hear that's how it pretty much is with that book, love it or hate it.

I intend to seek out these subject with more earnest in the near future.

Otherwise the day was...well, nuts. As always, but plus a little. At different times throughout, all 7 kids were here, and I realized that my new solution for Wii-and-computer times is not as brilliant as I thought. I figured two half hour per blocks, used any which way (one block for each thing, or both blocks on either one) but with 5 to 6 kids using the computer and Wii throughout the day, it never gets turned off. Clearly this is not a solution. I will have to ponder this further.

Now I'm off to rub a crick in hubby's neck.

I like this format.