Bed. Dark. Write.
So I've decided to try to journal this journey I've started. Maybe nothing will come of it, but we didn't set out for anything to come of it. I wasn't even sure it was something that should be shared. It's not being done for anyone's knowledge or benefit, and sharing it could actually hamper what we're doing in our own lives. But I feel like it begs to be journaled, chronicled, so here's my attempt.
Hub and I have decided to give up junk food for Lent. I've never done this before -- given up something for Lent. I know why you do it, I just never have. And it wasn't a lightning bolt moment this year, just a thought that grew into reality. I wondered if we could do it. We like junk food. A LOT. And we have the rolls to prove it. But this is truly not about us or our physical health or losing weight, even though all those things need to be improved. This is about having the highest possible reason to do something -- because God commands it of us and because we've promised it. And it's about finally exercising the discipline it takes to do something completely and follow through.
Yesterday, Day 1.
We're still allowed to drink coffee, although my husband says his is necessary and mine is 600 calories. (He's probably not too far off. Sad, but true. I'm very picky about my coffee, and it's not a healthy result.) And part way through the day, around snacking hour, I reeeeally wanted my Sweet & Spicy Chili Doritos. (It's probably not helping that I have a quarter of a bag sitting next to my bed.) But I didn't.
Today, Day 2.
I meant to weigh myself today, just for posterity, to compare 40 days from now. But then I thought maybe I shouldn't. Although I do need to lose weight, that's not what this is about, and I don't want to make it be about that in my head. On the other hand, I have no idea what I weigh now (nor do I wish to), and it would be an interesting study to see just what 40 days of junk-less eating would get me. (I don't know if I'll be able to get exercise in; we'll see. I haven't in about a year.)
This noontime saw a very stressful situation, scheduling speaking, and food/drink would normally be my major default...ooh, something to control, something yummy, something I can depend on! But no. We bought coffee (not the 600 calories I'd make at home) and let that be that. My healthy lunch came around 2 hours later (usual scenario; I eat after the kids are fed, happy, and quieter).
I even went to a 5-year old birthday party this evening, where pizza and cake were served. But hubby made me take a bowl of stroganoff with me which I ate most of, and thus didn't touch what was offered there. GO ME!
We've found some good patterns for eating. Eggs and cheese for breakfast, a good chicken/egg/cheese/lettuce salad for lunch, and whatever's on tap for dinner. Hub bought some Greek yogurt today while grocery shopping. I had the honey flavor once and wasn't impressed, but had strawberry today and it was quite acceptable. It's quite high in protein, though, so we decided it would be a great mid-afternoon snack (rather than before our salads like today; talk about protein overkill). And evening, around 8:30 or 9 when we start feeling snackish and hungry again, we've made fruit smoothies the last two nights -- banana, cup of yogurt, milk, and vanilla protein powder. Really good to take away hunger and stay on track.
It feels good. I'm not craving or raging-against-the-machine like I thought I might or like I have in the past, when the thoughts consume you of wanting something chocolate. (I get chocolate in my coffee every morning, so I suppose that might help.) It feels good to be having God as my motivation, to not be doing some big hard plan that we didn't come up with ourselves, and to be doing it with Hub where we can really push each other to stay strong (I was ready to eat pizza at the party because we were running really late and I didn't have time to eat at home, but Hub all but demanded that I take it with me). It's immensely helpful. Tomorrow, Day 3.